Heh, i was forwarded this email this morn. Thought I'd share it with you all. You might get a kick or two out of this.
Congress today announced that the office of President of the
United States of America will be outsourced to India as of July 1,
2007. The
move is being made in order to save the President's $500,000 yearly
salary,
and also a record $521 trillion in deficit expenditures and related
overhead the office has incurred during the last 5 years.
"We believe this is a wise move financially. The cost savings
should be significant," stated Congressman Thomas Reynolds (R-WA).
"We
cannot expect to remain competitive on the world stage with the current
level
of cash outlay," Reynolds noted.
Mr.Bush was informed by e-mail this morning of his
termination. Preparations for the job move have been underway for some
time.
Gurvinder Singh of Indus Teleservices, Mumbai, India will be
assuming the office of President as of July 1, 2007. Mr.Singh was born
in
the United States while his parents were vacationing at Niagara Falls,
thus making him eligible for the position. He will receive a salary of
$320
(USD) a month but with no health coverage or other benefits.
It is believed that Mr.Singh will be able to handle his job
responsibilities without a support staff. Due to the time difference
between
the US and India, he will be working primarily at night, when few
offices of the
US Government will be open. "Working nights will allow me to keep my
day
job at the Dell computer call center," stated Mr.Singh in an exclusive
interview. "I am excited about this position. I always hoped I would
be
President."
A Congressional spokesperson noted that while Mr.Singh may not
be fully aware of all the issues involved in the office of President,
this
should not be a problem as President Bush was not familiar with the
issues
either.
Mr.Singh will rely upon a script tree that will enable him to respond
effectively to most topics of concern. Using these canned responses, he
can
address common concerns without having to understand the underlying
issue at
all. "We know these scripting tools work," stated the spokesperson.
"President
Bush has used them successfully for years."
Bush will receive health coverage expenses, and a salary until
his final day of employment. Following a two week waiting period, he
will be
eligible for $140 a week unemployment for 13 weeks. Unfortunately he
will not
be eligible for Medicaid, as his unemployment benefits will exceed the
allowed limit.
Mr.Bush has been provided the outplacement services of
Manpower, Inc. to help him write a resume and prepare for his upcoming
job
transition.
According to Manpower, Mr.Bush may have difficulties in securing a new
position
due to limited practical or successful work experience. A Greeter
position at Wal-Mart was suggested due to Bush's extensive experience
shaking hands, as well as his vacant smile.
Congress today announced that the office of President of the
United States of America will be outsourced to India as of July 1,
2007. The
move is being made in order to save the President's $500,000 yearly
salary,
and also a record $521 trillion in deficit expenditures and related
overhead the office has incurred during the last 5 years.
"We believe this is a wise move financially. The cost savings
should be significant," stated Congressman Thomas Reynolds (R-WA).
"We
cannot expect to remain competitive on the world stage with the current
level
of cash outlay," Reynolds noted.
Mr.Bush was informed by e-mail this morning of his
termination. Preparations for the job move have been underway for some
time.
Gurvinder Singh of Indus Teleservices, Mumbai, India will be
assuming the office of President as of July 1, 2007. Mr.Singh was born
in
the United States while his parents were vacationing at Niagara Falls,
thus making him eligible for the position. He will receive a salary of
$320
(USD) a month but with no health coverage or other benefits.
It is believed that Mr.Singh will be able to handle his job
responsibilities without a support staff. Due to the time difference
between
the US and India, he will be working primarily at night, when few
offices of the
US Government will be open. "Working nights will allow me to keep my
day
job at the Dell computer call center," stated Mr.Singh in an exclusive
interview. "I am excited about this position. I always hoped I would
be
President."
A Congressional spokesperson noted that while Mr.Singh may not
be fully aware of all the issues involved in the office of President,
this
should not be a problem as President Bush was not familiar with the
issues
either.
Mr.Singh will rely upon a script tree that will enable him to respond
effectively to most topics of concern. Using these canned responses, he
can
address common concerns without having to understand the underlying
issue at
all. "We know these scripting tools work," stated the spokesperson.
"President
Bush has used them successfully for years."
Bush will receive health coverage expenses, and a salary until
his final day of employment. Following a two week waiting period, he
will be
eligible for $140 a week unemployment for 13 weeks. Unfortunately he
will not
be eligible for Medicaid, as his unemployment benefits will exceed the
allowed limit.
Mr.Bush has been provided the outplacement services of
Manpower, Inc. to help him write a resume and prepare for his upcoming
job
transition.
According to Manpower, Mr.Bush may have difficulties in securing a new
position
due to limited practical or successful work experience. A Greeter
position at Wal-Mart was suggested due to Bush's extensive experience
shaking hands, as well as his vacant smile.
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West Virginia
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